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The Best of Max Payne 3 Quotes

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The wisdom of Max Payne. A pick of some of the best quotes from the latest Rockstar game. For more gaming news and reviews check http://www.eurogamer.net/
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Text Comments (383)
BrokenHearth 18 (8 days ago)
HA-HA-HA yeah that's a fake laugh you jerk :)
George Martzoukos (1 month ago)
René Aangenaam ! (1 month ago)
Max Payne, this poor depressed alcoholic is such a boss!!
Buttman (2 months ago)
My favorite quote when he picked up some Pills "They Didn't help with my sea legs but they sure as shit felt good" that should've been in this video lol
R0B3RT (2 months ago)
“They had Body Armour, I had mine (Painkillers)”
Battlefieldtrip (2 months ago)
Time moves forward, and nothing changes.
Toast (2 months ago)
“I wouldn’t know right from wrong if one of them was helping the poor and the other was banging my sister”
Sakarin Tannoy (2 months ago)
*NO!* You forgot: "First day off the sauce, and somehow I still ended up in the gutter."
The 1 above all (2 months ago)
No one would be rebooting his system
The Real Dyl (3 months ago)
You forgot my favorite one, "The smart move would've been sticking with Da Silva and heading straight to the hangar. But I wasn't about smart moves, I'm a dumb move guy. Hey Max why don't we just drive straight to the hangar? No thanks, I'll just head straight through the main entrance. I'll put a big shit - eating grin on my face and let these assholes take turns trying to kill me. That was my style, and it's too late in the day to hope for change."
Tekken Appu (4 months ago)
Most tragic video game protagonist ever.
BigBuddha2012 (4 months ago)
james mccaffrey is amazing i want a max payne 4
ZombieInsider97 (5 months ago)
I really should replay this game again.
1911 VsGlocks (5 months ago)
Max Payne was saying shitholes before it was cool
thegooseman (6 months ago)
I love Max' s cynicism and dry humor in MP3.
ElInspectorRicardo (6 months ago)
I love how he gets better at piano for some reason..
werewolfx51 (6 months ago)
This game is a masterpiece of quotes there's a lot: ''I’d been sitting at the bar for three hours, or five years depending on the way you looked at things.'' "The guy was smoother than a oil slick on an iceberg, and about as toxic" ''I'd killed more cops than cholesterol and still no sign of Becker.'' ''Listen, if you think I can still do a job, what have I got to lose? Apart from the weight. Very funny... Ha ha... Yes, that is a fake laugh, you jerk.'' "Shhhh..Shhhh My boy, don't be afraid of the fires. You think they'll hurt ya. You think they'll char your skin and char your bones, but it'll make you clean in the long run." ''This town had more smoke and mirrors than a strip-club dressing room.'' ''A barely recovering alcoholic and an unarmed pregnant woman. We were hardly a SEAL team.''
BratBodrov (7 months ago)
This game series and the character in general is pure gold. People are waiting for RDR2 and gta6 to comeout and here i am waiting for max payne 4.
BIG Dave (7 months ago)
"A drinker eats when he's loaded. A real drunk eats when he's not."
kenrosenberg1000 (7 months ago)
"When did I ever need to invite trouble in? It always found me, no matter where I hid." (Chapter IV)
stormmare (7 months ago)
My favourite is after a lot of portuguese subtitles throughout the game he(and the player) finally gets enough, " Haven't you figured out don't speak your fucking language?"
NICKREAPER316 (8 months ago)
You can really tell the difference in writing. Max is just like every other Houser written protagonist in this game. Cynical, vulgar, and brutish. He's nowhere near as classy or poetic as he was when Sam Lake was writing him. Feels like a totally different character.
Luke (7 months ago)
NICKREAPER316 i figured it was because he's broken and just doesnt care anymore
100% Bosnian (8 months ago)
"No one would be rebooting his system, poor bastard" I almost choked at that part lol
Aria (23 days ago)
100% Bosnian how is that funny?
100% Bosnian (8 months ago)
"This place has more smoke 'n mirrors than a strip club dressing room"
reggie the chihuahua (8 months ago)
“I keep my eyes on the road. Off the rear view mirror of the road killed behind me”
Bradmakesgains (9 months ago)
He’s the white Morgan Freeman
SSSNNNAAKKEEE!!!!!!!!!! (9 months ago)
Exactly 100K views is satisfying to look at!
Young Mobstaz (9 months ago)
i got 24 messages now 50 plus girls are interested at me and he has 13 messages now shiiiiiiii
yes (9 months ago)
"This place is like Baghdad with G-Strings."
Max Payne should have became a Pianist. Would have had a much happier life
bearingonbear1984 mcalpin (10 months ago)
Honestly the dialogue in Max Payne 3 highly inspired the write my short storys. Honestly a few of them you probably would think we're in Max Payne at some point haha its just so gritty and raw. Ide be happy as hell if whoever did the dialogue for the game wrote a Max Payne book. Or anyone just keep it gritty.......not like the movie idk what happened there. Markie mark in the house
Max fucking Payne (11 months ago)
So what am I, the button pusher?
Jango Fett (28 days ago)
+Nicklaus Kindelberger One of the best developers out there. I will give you that.
Nicklaus Kindelberger (28 days ago)
+Jango Fett Remedy didn't make this one but they did make the first 2. Love that company. Next game seems interesting
Nicklaus Kindelberger (28 days ago)
+Jango Fett beat me to it by 9 months. You ever play Alan Wake?
Jango Fett (10 months ago)
Max fucking Payne "Yeah, you're so good at it. Good job."
DiegoAlanTorres69 (11 months ago)
"Only blind luck meant the blast wasn't fatal. If I'd have been out any longer, the smoke would've gotten me"
John N (11 months ago)
That is absolutely excelent writing!
honestly i never played max payne but the way they write this shit omg. differently influences my writing style its so gritty and truthful. wish the max payne movie captured that....but well we all know how that went.....what was with that lol
C-AZ (1 year ago)
you forgot the best one GODDAMNIT
lionlyons (1 year ago)
What about "I had killed more cops than cholesterol, but still no sign of Becker" (Chapter 13)? Actually, there are many epic quotes in Chapters 13 & 14. Why do you stop at Chapter 12?
Salahuddin (1 year ago)
Back to Square One     【w】【o】【w】
Mike Jones (1 year ago)
Lmao. "The Brochure sure never mentioned any of this shit."
Pakxs (1 year ago)
Stop with the fucking wisecracks.
Jujubis (1 year ago)
dimestore angel of death made me giggle like a moron
Garrett Oliva (1 year ago)
I like to think max is telling this to people in hell.
Clayton The Omni-One (6 months ago)
Garrett Oliva I've always imagined he was writing an autobiography of sorts and maybe someday in a final installment we'd get to see him typing on a computer the final pages of it just before hitting print
Heroman237 (1 year ago)
I'm surrounded by music i can't stand, I'm 5000 miles from home, I'm armed, and I'm drinking. I don't think you'd like my advice.
El- 7enawei (1 year ago)
قول (مراجعه ماكس باين 3 على السريع لو لعبتها
Ian Suess (1 year ago)
"I had a hole in my second favorite drinking arm"
Ashley Whelan (1 year ago)
My personal favourite line is "I needed a drink to escape from the electronic music, and the robotic people."
MalcolmRandall (1 year ago)
Max Payne says such the Wickedest things!
JT Brooks (1 year ago)
A drinker eats when he's loaded, a real drunk eats when he's not."
PoilishedMahogony (1 year ago)
i love how 'cake' is highlighted twice in this game
watchALLthethings (1 year ago)
"One of my bullets is buried down there with her. I tell myself it was a tragic misunderstanding, an awful mistake. I tell myself a lot of things. All of it crap."
MR-HorribleLad (1 year ago)
"No one would be rebooting his system now"
Thrashaero (1 year ago)
Orangy Pteco (1 year ago)
5 star bonafide shit hole
Pete Aloisi (1 year ago)
Marcelo was a good-time guy if your idea of a 'good time' was a fancy suit, a bottle of champagne and nothing between the ears.
ninjast4r (1 year ago)
So all he ever wanted to do was be a pianist, but he was so bad at it, people shot at him and he became an alcoholic pill-popper.
jdozer25 (2 years ago)
Jesus Christ these guys make the NYPD look like the Hairy Krishnas
Pabla Digital (2 years ago)
I loved Max Payne 3
Izzy and Sadie (2 years ago)
Best game
Lorex (2 years ago)
that one with the video is so fucking right . gebus so true , and for the last piano is so great "and for few seconds harmony" i still listen to the ost some great tracks
SomeYorkguy (2 years ago)
"It felt like my vacation was coming to an end, only I wasn't heading home with a sunburn, a bag full of duty free and a dose of VD. I was making a bet that would put me in handcuffs or a body bag."
My Shirts Never Fit (2 years ago)
No, "I had killed more cops than cholesterol"? That line really got me.
Geralt (10 months ago)
My Shirts Never Fit same
Still Trill (2 years ago)
game was infuckingcredible
mehu112 (2 years ago)
max payne 4 please
s3dchr (3 months ago)
Yeah, and Crysis is ELEVEN years old, and it still looks better than some modern games. And graphics of a game are one of the least important factors to begin with, for most cases/genres, considering the atmosphere, the controls, the WRITING, the gameplay etc... Which is why it pisses me off so much when I hear people wish for a "remaster" of a game that still looks freakin' great at a given moment. P.S./TLDR: just fucking enjoy and appreciate what you get.
Patrick Lloyd (3 months ago)
Max Payne 3 is *SIX YEARS OLD* Sir does-no-research. That is well inside the previous generation of games, it is by no means new, or current.
s3dchr (3 months ago)
Patrick Lloyd, remastered edition of a game that looks about the same quality as most today games? What the fuck is wrong with people like you? Will you just demand remastered versions a week after any fucking game comes out of them in a year? Spoiled fucks... Man, can't wait for the remastered Battlefield 1 or Detroit Become Human edition.
Patrick Lloyd (3 months ago)
Dunno about that. A Max Payne 3 Remastered Edition on the other hand...
BratBodrov (4 months ago)
@s3dchr well time will tell ;)
Kris Sierkstra (2 years ago)
''I knew this was a bad idea, but in the absence of any good ideas, I continued forward''.
J McWilly (2 years ago)
"i had chosen to be here, i wanted this. Was it redemption? Not really, just pathetic desperation, and not much else"
Syahmie Shahar (2 years ago)
"The way I see it.. there're two types of people: those who spend their lives trying to build a future. And those who spend their lives trying to rebuild the past." - Max Payne
SakkaraStudios101 (2 years ago)
If someone had told me six months ago this was where my life was headed, I'd have ordered a double of what they were drinking, drunk it, then blown my head off.
Ell612 (3 years ago)
This is definitely the darkest, and also the funniest in the series
JohnDanielTorrance (3 years ago)
"So I guess I'd become what they wanted me to be, a killer, some rent-a-clown with a gun who puts holes in other bad guys. Well, that's what they had paid for, so in the end, that's what they got. Say what you want about americans, but we understand capitalism, you buy yourself a product then you get what you pay for, and these chumps had paid for some angry gringo without the sensibility to tell right from wrong"
Steven Urkel (3 years ago)
I tell myself a lot of things, all of it crap.
Shane Bales (1 year ago)
+King Asteroid in this clip it starts at 3:38
Shane Bales (1 year ago)
+King Asteroid of the game or this clip?
+Steven Urkel wich part is that?
Lone Wolf (3 years ago)
James McCaffrey is one hell of an actor.
SkyOut (1 month ago)
warren byrne Troy Baker is fantastic.
warren byrne (2 years ago)
+Arkanjo Teixeira I know ,but he's start to great very overrated people say he's a young frank welker ir Mel blanc .
Jango Fett (2 years ago)
+Arkanjo Teixeira True.
Lone Wolf (1 year ago)
+warren byrne Troy Baker is very good too, man! He played Joker very well in Batman AO, also... Revolver Ocelot!
warren byrne (2 years ago)
+Jango Fett screw troy. Nolans great.
mrkirios (3 years ago)
_Max takes some painkillers_ "They had their body armor - *I had mine*"
Klienbottle Enthusiast (3 years ago)
here i was, some hocked up gringo, along way from home making trouble the only way i knew. As the weather worsened i caught a  glimse of the rusted shell of previous lives that have been lived out, here in this swampy shithole. And i wondered if ill end up the same way.
Klienbottle Enthusiast (2 years ago)
+Shane Bales REALLY?! I HEARD IT WRONG 4 TIMES?? thanks!
Shane Bales (2 years ago)
hopped up
ZombryaTheDark (3 years ago)
That was my favorite quote max has ever done
nsr4interpol (3 years ago)
"I ain't slippin' man. I'm slipped."
steveandfriends360 (3 years ago)
Anyone else think that when Max is finally able to play his song on the piano it symbolizes Max finding himself?
Joseph Rodriguez (1 year ago)
he is sober...
ChillyPhilly (2 years ago)
+steveandfriends360 Correct. Each piano moment symbolises where he is at mentally.
Klienbottle Enthusiast (3 years ago)
this game is a metaforical masterpiece 
The Last Image (3 years ago)
Good looking out! Never thought about it like that!
Theo Stevens (3 years ago)
You missed one - "I wrote the book on bad ideas, but Passos sure wasn't afraid to quote from it."
Donald Anderson (2 years ago)
Max Zusman (3 years ago)
"Haven't you figured out, I DON'T SPEAK YOUR FUCKIN LANGUAGE!?"
J.D. Sadinger (10 months ago)
ara9ond (3 years ago)
Why the hell don't I remember these quotes?! Is this a different R* you got this MP3 from? Or does the game have multiple different stories based on the choices you make. Hang on. What choices?! I don't remember getting a choice. That game was follow the bouncing ball. What is going on here? Where am I? Who are you? What happened to my blanky and jam-jams?! What is this PLAAAAAAAAAACE?!
GodOfGibberish (3 years ago)
+ara9ond I hope you're joking. This game was riddled with incredible lines from Max.
Lieutenant Yoshi (3 years ago)
4:32 That line had me laughing so hard when I first played that chapter.
Brojak (3 years ago)
"Baghdad with g-strings". "Stripper ~ cake"
FRAJCAJ (3 years ago)
The place was swarming with cops, but they weren't there for me as far as I could tell....and I've blundered my way into enough clusterfucks for one day :-D
DutchRapLyrics (3 years ago)
''I'd been sitting at the bar for three hours, or five years depending on how you looked at things''
David (1 month ago)
"I tried not to look a things..."
nsr4interpol (3 years ago)
+FlutGames A lot of the quotes from that chapter were great, especially from the intro cutscene.
ZombryaTheDark (3 years ago)
This guy is seriously in my top ten favorite protagonists. He is so well written and voiced
1911 VsGlocks (4 months ago)
ZombryaTheDark This guy is basically Punisher and Sterling Archer in one video
tommy vercetti (5 months ago)
bui nhat altaiir and ezio
Abhishek Mann (8 months ago)
Mine are Max Payne and Big Boss (Metal Gear Solid)
bui nhat (1 year ago)
How about Ezio and Edward Kenway? :D
Meatloaf (1 year ago)
Mine are Aiden Pearce, Max Payne, Vito Scaletta, Joe Barbaro and Wrench from Watch_Dogs 2
channel5980 (3 years ago)
Max Payne 3 is probably the most underrated game I have played in my life.
I AM BAYTOR (10 months ago)
Underrated is the complete opposite of what this game is. Unfortunately the multiplayer wasn't stable enough to keep people interested long term.
24 Frames (1 year ago)
Max Payne 3 sold over 4 million copies. This game is so far out of the realm that qualifies as underrated that it's in another solar system.
Amtos (1 year ago)
Chester Marshall Taylor It wasn't underrated, but it wasn't popular either. Still sad about it though, such a great game many people missed out on.
channel5980 I thought it was pretty popular in 2012?
Admiral Ackbar (3 years ago)
Max has a sister? Is her name Maximilia Payne?
Hunter Lanir (3 years ago)
It's a saying, he doesn't have a sister, actually.
JIMBOTHY (4 years ago)
"This kind of place made me want to puke. I needed a real drink to cope with the electronic music and robotic people."
nsr4interpol (3 years ago)
+JIMBOTHY My favourite quote. I know that feel.
Danger Ranger Dan (3 years ago)
Definitely one of the best interpretations of clubs I've ever heard.
Cameron McGuire (4 years ago)
"I stood out in this place like a streetwalker in a monastery"
fluffy bacon (4 years ago)
i just love this character
FlyAwayN0w (4 years ago)
Here's thinking why Max didn't become an author.
steamedrice97 (4 years ago)
I want this man to read me a bed-time story... I kinda wish they still kept the comic book style for some of the cutscenes... They could have put one at the beginning and end of each chapter! I think that would have worked! Isn't that what they did in the 2nd Max Payne?
Cameron McGuire (4 years ago)
For all the modern remakings of past classics, I think Max Payne 3 did a fantastic job.
carterjeremy89 (4 years ago)
".. and what kind of people were they? People who knew if they'd drink enough, they wouldn't have to feel guilty about their good fortune."
Abel Villa (4 years ago)
"The way I see it. There's two types of people: those who spend their lives trying to build a future and those who spend their lives trying to rebuild their past"
thepunisher236169 (4 years ago)
The game you'd like to play 1000 times over and over.
s3dchr (4 months ago)
I've got 176 hours in it by now, and about 3-4 of them are multiplayer...
Stefano Pavone (1 year ago)
I've racked up 100+ hours on this game, according to Steam... and I've never, ever played a single video game that extensively before.
Dr Altitude (2 years ago)
Yea. Why all the hate. It's different but good different.
Jango Fett (2 years ago)
+Max Payne I'm with ya bud.
Łowca KureF (2 years ago)
True,true. I've beaten it over 20 times and it never gets old. Universal masterpiece. I like it even better than first two and it's pure blast to play. Fu*k haters.
TonyOneBlairoby (4 years ago)
Where is the dumb move guys, the payne express and the real good joke?
The 2nd Best (4 years ago)
Subtitles would be nice...
Crowbars357 (4 years ago)
"...at least I'd die being a pain in the ass."
Penguin (4 years ago)
The auto-transcription of this video is actually pretty good, compared to other videos.
andreiclawhammer (4 years ago)
I might have written the book on bad ideas, but Passos wasn't afraid to quote from it
mangaka350 (4 years ago)
I want him to tell bed time stories for me, before sleep~
rmvannuchi (4 years ago)
There is one quote which I really love that its not included in the video. He says in one of the favelas missions. "There are two kinds of people in this world - Those who try to build a future for themselves and those who try to rebuild their past"
PythonsPrologue (4 years ago)
"I knew it was a bad idea, but in the absence of any good ideas, I continued forward"
David M. W. (4 years ago)
"I opened the door to the next circle of that low rent hell"

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